The Preperation

Well, I have made it. I haven't been hit by a bus. No one hit me in the mouth knocking my teeth out. No accidental Candy Corn incident.

The Braces come off tomorrow and I am preparing. I am still afraid I will get there and there will be SOME reason they can't come off. Like I screwed up. Or a tsunami hits. But I have prepared.

Foodstuffs that I am excited about have been purchased:

The paper chain is down to a single lonely link:

And I am going to burn my rubber bands:

Well maybe I won't burn them. Then my apartment will smell like burned rubber. But I will Throw them away with VENGEANCE!!!

Is it obvious that I am excited? In truth, I am actually throwing a party on Thursday. Why? Because I am a 26 year old getting their braces off, and I can.

The Sadness Sets In

As I prepare for arrival into the world of post apocalyptic teeth, I have become aware of a very important fact:

THE BLOG IS COMING TO AN END.

Of course it is. I mean, what shall I write about, the use of retainers? How I left them at a restaurant? Or perhaps I'll talk about how EMBARRASSING it is when everyone says, "Wow you have such a GORGEOUS smile."

(The last statement is less oh look how great I look and more about giving myself confidence. I am slightly concerned that things won't look awesome when the braces come off, and then I will be mad at the money and time that I can't get back. P.s. Do you know I could have bought a pretty decent used vehicle with the amount of money that is in my mouth. Seriously, not that I don't love my 10 year old Cavalier with the dents on the passenger side and the shake it gets when I go over 65mph, but I'm just sayin. So my teeth better look like a slightly used car with less than 50,000 miles or I am gonna BREAK SOMETHING. Whoa this is a long tangent, all inside a parenthesis).

A new blog could be exciting, I just have no thoughts on the topic. I refuse to blog about "my life." My life is not that interesting. Sure it has its moments, I live in a big city and see some hilarious things, but for the most part, don't we as people spend 50-80% of our time working or trying to get work? BO-RING. I love being an actor. Love - LOVE it. But the last thing anyone should want to read about is the audition I went on today and how I was awesome/ sucked it up/ fell on my face/ accidentally spit on my scene partner/ the casting director was a guest at my restaurant the night before.

Food blogs have been done, and by people who know more than I. Same goes with "Being Green." Hmmmmm..... Maybe I should run a marathon or something?

If you have any thoughts (Mom, and Caitlyn, I think you are the only two that still read this) lemme know.

Perhaps I should blog about the crazy hoarder who lives below me in my apartment building?

6 days, 22 hours and 32 minutes

The Rapture didn't happen, but you can count your chickens before they hatch that my braces are COMING OFF one week from right now.

Sorry, the blog is nearing the end and I need to include as many messed up metaphors as I can. That's kinda my thing. Mainly because I often don't know they have been poorly placed, or that I got part of the phrase wrong, until someone says something.

So it's definitely happening. And how do I know this? Well a few ways actually. First, OBVIOUSLY the paper chain. Hellloooo. Today's link made me giggle when I tore it, because again, I screwed up a "metaphor" if you will.

Yes I realize what it's supposed to be, but apparently at the time... I did not.

Secondly, I also know its happening because I had a very vivid dream last night/ this morning: They took the braces off and when I looked in the mirror, I only had 3 teeth in my top row. 3!!!! And they were not even the front 2! It was 3 on one side and everyone acted like, well what did you expect, that's how they looked before? It was so real, I woke up and immediately looked in the mirror, almost surprised to find that they were all there.

It almost makes me a little bit nervous about them coming off. Like what if they look worse than they did before. What if I look crazy? I mean I always look crazy but what if I look CRAZIER??

Well I guess I'll just find out!! The next 7 days would be filled with anticipation if I wasn't being worked like a slave by my current employers.

Happy Memorial Weekend! Go eat that Corn on the Cob!

Zen Philosophies... or ramblings

The best thing about a paper chain is that you don't have to do anything, aside from make the chain, but you feel accomplished simply because another day has passed.

So often I wish time moved slower. College could have lasted longer, especially the last year. Certain days I wish would have lasted 48 hours instead of the mere 24. And here I am staring at this chain wishing I were tearing the last link.

Well soon I will be, and then I'll wish I would have done more while the braces were on. Should have worked out more, should have taken more classes, should have met more people in the LA entertainment business. (But I won't go as far as to say I wished my braces were still on).

But the truth is Braces on or Braces off, I am still just me, living another day. And although June 1st will be a great day for sure, what is making any other day less great? The only difference might be that any other morning I didn't wake up with the same hope and excitement for the day.

Well maybe that should change. Because I can still go to the gym more, take more classes and meet people. I can still wake up every day, swallow my fears and hesitations, and only welcome the hope, love, and excitement in my life. And be proud of the fact that I haven't lost sight of my goals and dreams. Copper chops or not.

And seriously, the metal should really have been working as an electric conductor anyway, which would probably up my endorphins. I worked in a power plant so I know these things. So what if it was shoveling coal, I still know it.

26 days... so says the Paper Chain

Ladies and Gentlemen, the clock is ticking down. And in order to make time a tangible thing, my new friend Caitlyn and I have made the ultimate paper chain. It started with a couple sheets of paper, some markers, and wheat thins:

Then we chained it up. We thought there was no way one could make mistakes to the chain, I mean c'mon we made these in the 4th grade. Turns out, you can turn the numbers upside down. Whatever it still works!

Caitlyn did this pose "in case I forgot what the chain was for:

Ahhh 26 days and counting. The freedom is so close. And just for old times sake, here are the final photos of my mouth interiors. This is the way it should stay. Isn't it gorgeous?

Let the Countdown Begin!

I am overjoyed! I am don't even have words for how I feel right now.

That's a lie of course I do.

Today I went to the ortho to have impressions made for my positioner i.e. the plastic thing that comes after my braces and before my retainers. I haven't heard of this before so I am assuming this is a new technology that was unavailable to my friends 15 years ago. First of all G-R-O-S-S. My impressions in NYC were tolerable and tasted like Bubble Gum. These tasted like glue and felt like it too. The tech was having such a hard time getting them out I thought a tooth was going to break off.

20 mins of scraping mold off my braces later, the doc comes over to check my bite. In reminiscence of my earlier days of blogging, I will now shift over to a dialogue scene.

Dr. N: (to the tech) Make sure they leave the gap for L5 (i.e. baby tooth hole)

Dr. N: (to me) Beautiful. That's it. 4 weeks.

Me: 4 weeks? They're coming off?

Dr. N: Yup no more guessing. You can make the appointment.

Me: Oh my God seriously? (Jumps out of chair and hugs Dr. N. Then Jumps on top of chair.) Dr. Newhart and all technicians I just want to thank you for your hard work. I couldn't be here today on the verge of looking slightly better than I did a year ago without all of your help. I will never forget what you did for me. Especially you Eli. I am still upset about that one adjustment. But I thank you. Without pain, there is no...gain. (Wild applause, I kiss each technician on the cheek, and the receptionists toss roses at my feet.

Ok, but seriously EVERYTHING HAPPENED LIKE THAT. Oh except for obviously the ridiculous part. The receptionists don't just keep roses at their desk.

MY BRACES ARE COMING OFF IN 4 WEEKS!!!! That is 2 weeks earlier than the last prediction.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could put this feeling in words. You know what? As weird as it sounds, considering the only thing I DID was shell out thousands of dollars and wear my rubber bands, I feel a sense of accomplishment. Achievement. I actually followed through on something to the end. Including this blog! Who knew I would actually keep it up for this long!

I am elated!