Things I would rather do...

than be wearing 4 rubber bands and a rubber band chain at once:

Do 4 workout videos from P90x in a row, including Ab Rippers.
Have to eat liquids for 2 more months.
Be homeless for another month.
Drive through Los Angeles rush hour traffic with no air conditioning.
Drive through Los Angeles rush hour traffic with my 9th grade CD of Dashboard Confessional as my only music option.
Drive across the country... again.
Food poisoning. Because it only lasts a day.

And so much more.

Please pass the prescription drugs/ non prescription drugs/ anything to numb this pain.

And now for your viewing pleasure, a somewhat creepy video found on the internet by none other than Bora Karaca.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIa9GNQA9sw

And so it begins... again.

Today was day one under the care of Dr. Scott Newhart. Needless to say things have changed. Hopefully, for the better! His exact words were "We've got a LOT of work to do."

Perfect. Exactly what I was hoping he would say. I of course never hoped he would say "oh my, your teeth look amazing. Two more months and they are off!"

Because that would be ridiculous.

(brief crying interlude)

Eh hem. Anyway, turns out that in LA they call my bite rim "turbos." Oooooh. I like it. Turbos. It sounds like I could blast off into space by the sparks in my mouth.

So here are the deets on my new treatment: There was chit chat of chains, step ups, and they kept referring to L5. I have NO idea. What DO I know? I have 4 rubber bands in my mouth.

4 - Two on each side!

They are classified on the bag as Extra heavy. Compared to my old bands classified as medium. Um, can you SEE the difference.

Basically what I am trying to say is I am in an unbelievable amount of pain. I don't even have a joke about it. It hurts that bad.

Well, the next step in this process is the removal of my baby tooth. We have been together so long, I am a little nervous about saying goodbye. But I guess it is time to become grown up.

I'm off to take some prescription drugs... Kidding!

... Anybody have any vicodin?

Today's look sponsored by Tylenol.

The metal glistens in the sunshine

I know what you are all wondering. The questions burning in your brain. The reason I know this? Because after being in Los Angeles and unemployed for exactly two weeks I have taken up the art of extrasensory perception ... a.k.a. I'm gonna be a PSYCHIC !!

Genius Right? I know.

So when I look into my crystal ball made out of the empty chinese takeout container from last night, I see that you (the few reading) want to know how LA receives my metal gear.

Well, I'll tell you. Essentially it is like anywhere, some people are nice and some people are jerks. I basically haven't associated too much with the unkind people. But no matter what there is always this look when I open my mouth like "...hhhuh." Usually followed by a reaction similar to "awwwwwww she's so cuuuuute." Or they forget about it.

All in all, not too bad, but I'm afraid of what will happen when I encounter what the actor postings call "LA Types."

The New Orthodontist

The Quest for the NEW Orthodontist

By Chelsea M. L. O.

After living in Los Angeles for 4 days I went to my first ortho consult. I tried to make a couple appointments to see Dr.'s when I got here but Dr. Sack of West Hollywood was the easiest to get in to see. To spoil the end of this story, I cried the entire drive home. And now, a scene (very little has been dramatized for effect).

Dr. S: So why did you move to LA?

Me: Well I was acting in New York, and I moved here to continue acting and working in the entertainment business.

Dr. S: Are you aware your acting career will suffer because of the braces? Agents don't take kindly to that you know.

Me: Yes. I'm aware and I'm pursuing other work right now.

(dialogue intermission due to rubbered hands jammed in my mouth)

(Dr. S begins calling out EXTREMELY insulting statements like "class 2 molars, severe over bite, possible jaw clicking". how rude...)

Dr. S: Are you a mouth-breather?

Me: ( embarrassed gasp) um, yeah, kinda.

Dr. S: That's what I thought. You have inflammation and gingivitis due to your excessive mouth breathing. I want you to see an ENT to fix your mouth/ nose breathing.

... (Dr. babble about how he completely disagrees with my treatment, wants to take my braces off and put new ones on, take new photos for an extra $300, and my treatment will still be $6,000)

then while explaining the lack of my upper lip length, he said ( and I am NOT exaggerating)

"We here in the city look at these details. I mean... this IS Hollywood."

This is the point where I said FU, flipped the bird, and said call my city ortho in New York City where people are smarter, and you can discuss the length of YOUR lip.

No I did not. I sat there while my eyes welled with tears and hated the day I moved to this city.

Lesson to be Learned? I often jump to conclusions and am drastically swayed by people's opinions. It turns out all I had to do was find a Michigander.

Dr. Scott Newhart will be my new orthodontist. While he can never replace Dr. V's place in my jaw he will definitely hold a candle to her. He got his Bachelor's from MSU (ahhhh yes) and he said upon entering the room "you have Michigan skin."

I fell in love.

He gave me a reasonable rate, agreed with my current treatment, and told me I had a beautiful face. He won over my heart, and my teeth.

And the world is right again.