Happy Valentine's Day...?

I was cleaning my room today - making room for some new bedroom furniture, for those of you who don't know which is probably all of you, I have been living in Los Angeles this entire time without owning a dresser. It started as being too poor, which was still the case until about 6 weeks ago and then I became too lazy.

Well I got a nightstand yesterday and a dresser is on its way! Look at me growing up!

I digress. As I cleaned my room, I found my Valentine's Card from my Mom. I left it out saying, "This must go on the blog!" Well 2 months later here it is.

There are so many reasons why this was hilarious:

1. The inside said, "and it still does." the card manufacturer probably assumed that the adult daughter receiving this card no longer had a childlike smile.

2. I called my mom to thank her for the card saying, "I can't believe you found a card with a girl in braces." and She said, "what do you mean? I didn't find a card with braces?" Now either I'm crazy and seeing things wrong from an inkblot test, or this girl has hearts for braces? My mom's just so used to my look, and loves me like only a mother could, she started to think everyone looked like this.

3. I still wear my hair like that.

One week down, ...potentially, hopefully, please God 8 more weeks to go.

Life Without a Plan...

* Please note before reading that Facebook finds this blog to be abusive. Which means someone flagged my material for abusive content. So if you have a queasy stomach and do not like hearing about teeth and life goals, please step away from the blog.

I am a planner. That's what I do, I plan. I'm not implying that I don't also DO, but I rarely DO without first a PLAN. Your correct response right now should be, "And how's that working out for you?"

You see I often believe so much in the plan that I forget it is essentially a hypothetical situation, a loose outline if you will. I dig in my heels, put my blinders on and set out to achieve this crazy idea, turning down ideas that I would LOVE simply because I hadn't written it down on my "Goal Sheet." (Its pathetic, I really have a goal sheet) So when March 16th rolled around and my braces were still on, all I could think was "THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN!" Well, it's April 14th and I can most certainly say that the braces are on for another month.

Yesterday was my checkup appointment, and although this blog post is starting with a peculiar tone, what I have to share is triumph! I officially have a "date" from the doctor. I know when they should be coming off! Woo Hoo!!!! It is not next week or next month, but at least the end is in sight. (why is she being so weird and hasn't said when the date is yet?) Well, I'm avoiding making yet another plan.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll explode next week with a countdown. I already have plans to make a paper chain. But come on now, who doesn't love paper chains? We can play Zero the Hero.

I DO need to mention that this is not coming without a cost. When I said "I will do ANYTHING for them to come off before the end of June." He requested a Huckleberry Pie. I of course responded with "I'll make 3!!" He chuckled and I eventually realized I know huckleberry's because they are grown in Michigan. Where am I gonna find them out here??? So I'm on the search.

Also, I am on the search while wearing 4 very visible rubber bands in my mouth, with the instructions, "If you want them off in 9 weeks, you better wear these like a maniac."

So if you find a maniac with crazy eyes, rubber banded mouth, walking through the fruit fields of California, offer me some water cuz I'm probably really thirsty. Oh, can I borrow your chapstick too?

Oops, just told you when the braces are coming off.

Wait.. no WMDs??

I am currently strategizing on my maneuvers for the Preemptive War that will be waged on Wednesday April 13th at 9:30am, my next appointment. Those in the LA area should stock up on water and stand in a doorway.

You might be asking why? what did they/I do? Well if you paid attention during the Bush Administration you would know that they didn't need to do much, or anything at all. But they did.... ooooh they did.

Last week I popped by to fix a bracket and when I engaged conversation with the tech, he implied I had MINIMUM 3 more months, but could be 6 MONTHS. And by implied, I mean he laughed at my silly little thought that they might come off this month.

Now clearly I haven't been forceful enough. I realize that the doc has his reasons for being vague about the end time, but for REAL? 3 MORE MONTHS?? 6 MORE MONTHS??? There is going to be a STERN talking to. STERN! (I just hope that I am the one doing the talking).

This is driving me to drink. And I can't afford to drink. Which means I have become a glutton of Trader Joe's $1.99 wine (yes out in California it actually IS 2 Buck Chuck). I am a wino. This is me declaring my status as a California Surfer Hippie WINO.

Just remembered I don't surf.

And That I believe in Capitalism.

And apparently a Wino is someone who consumes more than 2 glasses of wine per day.

Seriously Dr.??? You can't even give me that??? Now I am just a broad in braces and with a red stained mouth.