If you read this blog (either by force, or because this is your chance to laugh at that girl from high school you were always secretly jealous of because she was so skinny and pretty (in which case you have the wrong blog. Stephanie Framke has not started a blog yet but when she does I will let you know. :)) Then you may have noticed I have not written in a while. The reason is because the only enlightening thing to happen braces related, is also related to my digestive system and other unmentionables. I will just say this: apparently when you do any sort of fasting (in my case a chew fast) your body becomes more efficient at the cleansing process and starts to work on "the old stuff." So it discovers the cheeseburger still in your system from Kristen Callaghan's surprise birthday party from 2001. Unpleasant things ensue requiring further action. I'm feeling better. 'Nough said.
Since I am trying, not so successfully, to refrain from making both of us blush I will now highlight all recent events that will not cause my mother to say (gasp) " I can't believe Chelsea put that on the internet!"
This is an ad on the subway.
1. I told my crazy Greek landlady that has terror tweens, a nasty lazy son-of-a-b**** ex-husband, and a sick father in and out of the hospital- That I am moving out in a month! Huzzah!!! Seriously, don't feel bad for her. I wake up every morning to the sounds of her and her son screaming back and forth. EVERY. MORNING.
2. I gave notice to both of my jobs.
My day job is working for Dr. Gonzalez. www.dr-gonzalez.com I learned a lot from the doctors, from book publishing, to better eating habits, to cancer. Talking to people who were diagnosed yesterday with metastatic cancer has changed me forever and I am so grateful for the experience. I will miss it. I think it is the best non-acting job I have ever had. Although the summer of coal shoveling is a close second. What will I not miss? Reading about new diseases and then a week later being convinced I have it. I currently have sciatica. Next week I will have arteriosclerosis.
Comix wanted something put in writing for my notice. Here is my first draft.
Comix - it's not you, it's me. I just feel that this three and a half year roller-coaster relationship has become unhealthy for both of us. You treated me bad and I took you back. I treated you bad and you took me back - 3 times. Off and on. Back and forth. It's time to officially end what mentally ended a long time ago. Don't think I don't appreciate you. You swept me off my feet my third week in New York City and promised me a roof over my head and unconditional buffalo chicken tenders, and you never failed. I'll never forget the good times. Remember when Collin Quinn hugged me? Or when I waited on Kanye? Ahh, memories. Well, I'm bad at goodbyes. So on my last day I will walk out the front door silently with dry cheeks, my head held high, and all the money from the register stuffed into my apron.
*Comix managers- please be aware this is a joke. I have no intention of robbing you on my last day or ever.
3. I discovered I can eat Indian food. Gorged on Curry. One week later and my braces are still slightly stained orange. AWESOME.
4. First big braces adjustment is on Tuesday morning. Can you believe it's been 6 weeks? Yes. YES. I CAN BELIEVE IT. LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING.
(click on the link)
Oh Chelsea, you make me laugh. Perhaps this one made me laugh only because I know the people you are referencing at high school. Either way, who cares. You're funny and I like your blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Who is this high school friend?
ReplyDeleteWell, I'll avoid the opportunity to be evasive, seems like it could be a bit creepy.
ReplyDeleteI'm Stephanie Milne. I was a year below you in high school, '03 clan. However, we did a One Act together.