Braces are Hazardous

I have come down with yet another sickness and now I believe that my braces are harvesting some sort of bacteria that keeps making me sick. Yet another reason to take them off.

But this is not the height of their hazard.

Due to said sickness/sore throat/yelling over top of a jazz band at a birthday party, I lost my voice and when I do try to speak, loud hacking coughs ensue. The kind of coughing that kept me up at 5am last night. :(

Since I have to talk while waiting tables, my smart idea was to keep a cough drop in my mouth so that I could stop coughing long enough to explain the menu. I was trying to avoid that gross situation where you're like "oh my god our server keeps coughing into her hands and then bringing people bread baskets!"

Instead I created a far worse situation. You see I refuse to take my rubber bands out for longer than 5 minutes because its the only thing standing between me and freedom. But the rubber bands with the cough drop was extremely hard. ... I'll just cut to the chase.

The cough drop flew out of my mouth and landed on the guests shirt.

The irony: she also was a grown woman with braces.

I wish I could say that this was not as bad as it sounds. But in fact, it was actually worse than it sounds. Far worse.

On the bright side, I filed my taxes today.

The fact that this is the bright side means something.