I LONG for Potato Chips

Highlights from the evening while waiting tables:

1. I was lucky enough to wait on a Bachelor party.

2. My GM comes late into a conversation where the chef was saying "Chelsea I saw you three times and JUST noticed them." My GM says, "I saw them right away, and thought wow I must not be very observant because I never saw them before today." ME: "That's because I just got them."

What did I not expect? That the pain/ discomfort/ difficulty eating would FAR outweigh the embarrassment. In fact tonight waiting tables (at Comix Comedy Club) was the first time in 2 1/2 days the embarrassment won out.

I'm a flirt. I really am. Men, Women, whatever. That is my main tactic while serving cocktails. Give them the eye, laugh at their jokes, make them feel special. Now I can't even say the word special. The braces are totally invading my server style (thank God I'm typing).

My OLD shpeel: "Hi Welcome to Comix My name is Chelsea. I'll be your server this evening. These are our specials. Can I start you off with something?" Who knew I used so many S's? Now it's "What would you like?" No smile. No specials. No sexiness. "What would you like?"

I realize it is day 2 with braces. Honestly a little soon for another blog post. I don't doubt that my confidence will come back. Nothing has ever really stifled my personality. Ha ha. In fact tonight at the start of the second show I was almost feeling good. Like maybe no one noticed, and if they did, maybe no one cared. I even felt more awkward for the Asian girl that kept asking for an "Ice Coke."

And then it happened.

I'm walking to my table of three men next to the stage carrying their beers when the Host (says oh-so-sarcastically) to one of them "Oh Adult Braces, that's HOT."

YUP.

Ok so I realize that is probably not the first or last Adult Braces joke I will hear. Geez, this whole blog is one big Adult Braces joke. But suddenly it seemed pointed. Attacking. PERSONAL. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ME, AND ONLY ME, THE SOLE BRACE WEARER IN THIS WORLD!!!!!

I had made a list of all the things that would be worse than having braces. But I'm not going to share it. Because if anyone is reading this, the odds are one of you has something on the list. (Kirsten, I'm referring to that time in our hotel room in Greece, on that hot, HOT summer day). And if I share that list, I just did to you what that host did to me. So instead I leave you with this...

The next time you eat a potato chip, savor it and think of me.