To Sum Up

I got my retainers!!! And they are clear like invisalign trays! (slight disappointment, because perhaps I intended to make webisodes with retainer girl)

My dental dictation is basically done. All that is left is a Bridge for my missing baby tooth. (Donations will be accepted, please contact www.chelseawentbrokefixingherteeth.com)

I started a new blog www.fishwithcrisis.blogspot.com I'm not sure what it will involve. Hopefully no personal arrests or strip clubs. I know I live in (west) Hollywood but let's keep it clean people.

Final thoughts for those reading this that are considering dental work:

I would do it again. Yes, it costs some serious coin. And I am an actress who essentially stopped working for 15 months. And I was embarrassed to open my mouth in front of anyone I didn't know. BUT. Most of the time, unless it's cosmetic, it has to be done. This HAD to be done. And now I can go through the rest of life not worrying about when I will have to suck it up and get braces. Now I can enjoy my beautiful smile, and take pride in my achievement. Because although it doesn't seem like something you achieve, when you get your braces off, you'll see it differently. Or at least I did.

And here's hoping I book a CREST commercial!

It Didn't Happen...

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!

I am totally braceless! My teeth feel slimy and lacking a dull pain I am so accustomed to.

I am writing this blog from a coffee shop in Santa Monica near my Ortho's office. And almost coincidentally, this is the coffee shop I found about a week after I moved here where I sat down and wrote cards to all the people I stayed with on the road when I moved out west. It feels fitting.

I realize you are only looking for pictures but I want to draw this out... I do have a flare for the dramatic you know.

One thing very few people ever mentioned was the horror of getting them off. I bled. I didn't even know one could bleed from this. It felt as if someone were snapping my teeth off one by one. Then came the polishing which was like getting a brain freeze over and over again, except no one was enjoying ice cream. Not even the technician.

I stood up to rinse my mouth out, drooled on myself, literally, looked in the mirror, and this is what I saw:

The technician said, "you look like you just left a really great party." Yes my face looks like it is covered in Cocaine. At least in the movies it looks like this. My drug knowledge is not very extensive. This in fact is the cement in powder form that he just polished off my teeth.

Then I got to meet the little brats that have SEVERELY interrupted my career and also caused a sore in my mouth for the last 14 and a half months.

Good riddance. I will only miss the humor that you added to my life, and the character that you built for me. I am stronger because of you, but I can do without you now. Au Revoir! Adios! Ciao! Carpe Diem! (wait... the last one... all I remember is Robin Williams. I'm confused.)

And what all of you (or at least I) have been waiting for:

And a close up of the lovely ladies:

Thank you all for reading. Thank you for the encouragement, and stories of your own that you shared with me. I realize that getting braces is not that big of a deal. People do it all the time. The fact that my life's passion and career was put on hold for this small event, made it a much BIGGER event for me. I thank you for laughing with me. Want one more laugh? I have to wear this at night:

The Preperation

Well, I have made it. I haven't been hit by a bus. No one hit me in the mouth knocking my teeth out. No accidental Candy Corn incident.

The Braces come off tomorrow and I am preparing. I am still afraid I will get there and there will be SOME reason they can't come off. Like I screwed up. Or a tsunami hits. But I have prepared.

Foodstuffs that I am excited about have been purchased:

The paper chain is down to a single lonely link:

And I am going to burn my rubber bands:

Well maybe I won't burn them. Then my apartment will smell like burned rubber. But I will Throw them away with VENGEANCE!!!

Is it obvious that I am excited? In truth, I am actually throwing a party on Thursday. Why? Because I am a 26 year old getting their braces off, and I can.

The Sadness Sets In

As I prepare for arrival into the world of post apocalyptic teeth, I have become aware of a very important fact:

THE BLOG IS COMING TO AN END.

Of course it is. I mean, what shall I write about, the use of retainers? How I left them at a restaurant? Or perhaps I'll talk about how EMBARRASSING it is when everyone says, "Wow you have such a GORGEOUS smile."

(The last statement is less oh look how great I look and more about giving myself confidence. I am slightly concerned that things won't look awesome when the braces come off, and then I will be mad at the money and time that I can't get back. P.s. Do you know I could have bought a pretty decent used vehicle with the amount of money that is in my mouth. Seriously, not that I don't love my 10 year old Cavalier with the dents on the passenger side and the shake it gets when I go over 65mph, but I'm just sayin. So my teeth better look like a slightly used car with less than 50,000 miles or I am gonna BREAK SOMETHING. Whoa this is a long tangent, all inside a parenthesis).

A new blog could be exciting, I just have no thoughts on the topic. I refuse to blog about "my life." My life is not that interesting. Sure it has its moments, I live in a big city and see some hilarious things, but for the most part, don't we as people spend 50-80% of our time working or trying to get work? BO-RING. I love being an actor. Love - LOVE it. But the last thing anyone should want to read about is the audition I went on today and how I was awesome/ sucked it up/ fell on my face/ accidentally spit on my scene partner/ the casting director was a guest at my restaurant the night before.

Food blogs have been done, and by people who know more than I. Same goes with "Being Green." Hmmmmm..... Maybe I should run a marathon or something?

If you have any thoughts (Mom, and Caitlyn, I think you are the only two that still read this) lemme know.

Perhaps I should blog about the crazy hoarder who lives below me in my apartment building?

6 days, 22 hours and 32 minutes

The Rapture didn't happen, but you can count your chickens before they hatch that my braces are COMING OFF one week from right now.

Sorry, the blog is nearing the end and I need to include as many messed up metaphors as I can. That's kinda my thing. Mainly because I often don't know they have been poorly placed, or that I got part of the phrase wrong, until someone says something.

So it's definitely happening. And how do I know this? Well a few ways actually. First, OBVIOUSLY the paper chain. Hellloooo. Today's link made me giggle when I tore it, because again, I screwed up a "metaphor" if you will.

Yes I realize what it's supposed to be, but apparently at the time... I did not.

Secondly, I also know its happening because I had a very vivid dream last night/ this morning: They took the braces off and when I looked in the mirror, I only had 3 teeth in my top row. 3!!!! And they were not even the front 2! It was 3 on one side and everyone acted like, well what did you expect, that's how they looked before? It was so real, I woke up and immediately looked in the mirror, almost surprised to find that they were all there.

It almost makes me a little bit nervous about them coming off. Like what if they look worse than they did before. What if I look crazy? I mean I always look crazy but what if I look CRAZIER??

Well I guess I'll just find out!! The next 7 days would be filled with anticipation if I wasn't being worked like a slave by my current employers.

Happy Memorial Weekend! Go eat that Corn on the Cob!

Zen Philosophies... or ramblings

The best thing about a paper chain is that you don't have to do anything, aside from make the chain, but you feel accomplished simply because another day has passed.

So often I wish time moved slower. College could have lasted longer, especially the last year. Certain days I wish would have lasted 48 hours instead of the mere 24. And here I am staring at this chain wishing I were tearing the last link.

Well soon I will be, and then I'll wish I would have done more while the braces were on. Should have worked out more, should have taken more classes, should have met more people in the LA entertainment business. (But I won't go as far as to say I wished my braces were still on).

But the truth is Braces on or Braces off, I am still just me, living another day. And although June 1st will be a great day for sure, what is making any other day less great? The only difference might be that any other morning I didn't wake up with the same hope and excitement for the day.

Well maybe that should change. Because I can still go to the gym more, take more classes and meet people. I can still wake up every day, swallow my fears and hesitations, and only welcome the hope, love, and excitement in my life. And be proud of the fact that I haven't lost sight of my goals and dreams. Copper chops or not.

And seriously, the metal should really have been working as an electric conductor anyway, which would probably up my endorphins. I worked in a power plant so I know these things. So what if it was shoveling coal, I still know it.

26 days... so says the Paper Chain

Ladies and Gentlemen, the clock is ticking down. And in order to make time a tangible thing, my new friend Caitlyn and I have made the ultimate paper chain. It started with a couple sheets of paper, some markers, and wheat thins:

Then we chained it up. We thought there was no way one could make mistakes to the chain, I mean c'mon we made these in the 4th grade. Turns out, you can turn the numbers upside down. Whatever it still works!

Caitlyn did this pose "in case I forgot what the chain was for:

Ahhh 26 days and counting. The freedom is so close. And just for old times sake, here are the final photos of my mouth interiors. This is the way it should stay. Isn't it gorgeous?